Willpower!

So I don't go to Crossfit anymore on Fridays, but I need to still write the post from yesterday. To be honest, I kind of put it off because yesterday was such a "terrible" day for me both diet and workout-wise - I totally caved, and on WEEK ONE of my paleo challenge. And, while I recognize that it's ok to give in and allow myself a cheat every so often (and not be hard on myself in the process), I'm a little disappointed that I didn't even last a week.

But...I got better at it today and exercised a little more self-constraint. I guess things began to unravel yesterday when I went to my regular weekly lunch meeting with Vlad (my advisor and professor I TA for) and Kristina. Usually we go to this place in the business school that always has some grass-fed beef option with carrots and potatoes as a side (actually it's really crappy cooking, but at least it's grass-fed, no sauce food). Yesterday was such a nice day out though, that we decided to venture out for lunch...to get Indian food. I LOOOOOOOOOVE spicy Indian food. And it would have been okay if we hadn't done the buffet option with the basmati rice and rice pudding for dessert. At least I didn't load up on my first trip through the line, and I didn't get seconds either...but still...

Then onto Crossfit that night. I was super intimidated by this WOD:

5 rounds for time:
5 Back squats (225# / 205#)
25 Box jumps (24" / 20")
12 Pull-ups

I'm usually intimidated by 5 rounds WODs because mentally they seem like so much longer. The back squats I wasn't really worried about, although I did scale them back to 95# so that I could share the limited weight racks and bars with another classmate (probably could have done 105# or maybe even 115#). Box jumps were a pain, and I was so hell-bent on getting through them that I actually forgot to open my hips up at the top. Usually I'm a big stickler for form, but I just wanted them to be over that I unconsciously did not uphold the standard. For shame!

Then onto the pull-ups. I set-up a thin green band "just in case," although Tyler gave me a lot of flack for it ("You're breaking my little coach heart, Steph"). I did the first 3 rounds without a band, breaking it up into 3 sets of 4 pull-ups each, although I was shooting for 5 pull-ups and occasionally hit that mark. As I was walking to the bar bell for the back squats to start round 4, I glanced at my hand to see if I needed more chalk. And that's when I saw BLOOD EVERYWHERE! I had a huge rip on both of my hands and my seeing them totally changed my performance. I'm convinced that they wouldn't have started hurting if I had just not looked at them. Note to self: no more looking at hands during workouts!

So rounds 4 and 5 I did fingertip pull-ups on the thin green band, but it was super uncomfortable and I was kind of being a big whiny baby about it all. I still managed to finish in 16:56, but not proudly or with a smile on my face. I don't know what my problem was...maybe it was all the white rice from lunch :(

Today I did a little better with the willpower. Someone left these delicious looking muffins in the graduate student breakroom, and usually I don't turn down free food. Graduate students are vultures like that around food. But I didn't eat a muffin. Food 0, Steph 1. Then I *almost* ate a cookie from my cookie jar: I actually opened the cookie jar and grabbed a cookie, put it to my mouth and was about to take a bite before the vision of my freshly manicured nails and me in new Lululemon gear flashed into my head...and the cookie went into the trashcan. Another point for Steph!

My roommate and I then had an interesting discussion about eating disorders after I told her this story. As someone who spent 4 years on a Texas drill team, I've seen my fair share of girls with eating disorders, and while my behavior of throwing away the cookie might seem extreme, I want to make clear that I came home and I ate a decent portion of Greek yogurt with nuts, cinnamon and a drizzling of honey. I'm not restricting calories, I'm just restricting the food the calories come from. It's a fine line to be walking. I am taking this personal challenge seriously, but not at the serious consequence of my health (both psychologically and physically).